i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my mouth tastes like poor choices
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm both gender and math confused
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
