I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
