i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
