i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
