did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
