There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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