Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
