im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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