I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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