She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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