My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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