I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
