Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
