So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
