If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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