It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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