My first STD was from a foam party
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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