I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
