He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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