An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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