I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
