today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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