did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
