I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
