I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
