My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
being pregnant is like rehab
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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