i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
