Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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