ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
