If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
