i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
my poor anus
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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