you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
