Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
