No, you can still breathe under the balls.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
