I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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