My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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