I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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