Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize