i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
