For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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