i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Couch. On fire.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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