I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
