Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
