i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
