I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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