ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
