Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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