Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
