im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
