"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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