Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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