You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
