I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
