I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
