I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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