I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
