This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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