You just made me feel so damn special
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
