i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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