Don't you send me to vm
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
