What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Randomize
