I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
