Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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