Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
